Another Neko Story
by Ducky of Doom
Summary: When Envy learns he can not only shift his shape, but other people's shapes as well, what chaos will he cause? Noone is safe from the homunculi, not even Edward, who faces a very furry fate!
1. Chapter 1

Another Neko Story

**When Envy learns he can not only shift his shape, but other people's shapes as well, what chaos will he cause?**

**The name will make sense by... maybe... the 3rd chapter? **

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. I own a tape that has the second-to-last episode on it, though. .;; Heh...**

Ch. 1 - Discovery and First Experiment

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Envy sat on a treebranch, innocently passing the time by throwing rocks at the squirrels and the sparrows on the neighboring tree limbs. He laughed as one of the birds made a strangled noise. He'd finally hit one. "The crows are 10 points..." he muttered as he hit another black bird. Yes, all was perfect, until...

"Envy-saaan!" a squeaky voice cried out, "Where areeee yoouuuu?"

Envy sighed. "What is it this time, Wrath?"

Wrath climbed up into the tree. "Do the clown again!"

Envy shook his head. "Shapeshifting isn't a toy, Wrath. You see, Lust isn't here to force me to be Flippy the clown, so I will not." He turned to climb higher in the tree.

Wrath immediately clung to his arm. "Awww! But Lust said that if I found you then you'd be the clown again."

Envy tried to shake the annoyance from his arm, but found he couldn't. "Fine." He peeled the child from his arm and held onto the boy's shoulder so he couldn't cling to him. He then summoned the power to turn and...

"Why isn't anything happening?" Wrath asked. Envy's eyes went wide for a moment, then burst out laughing. This was an interesting new development. He could shapeshift more than himself.

The little Wrath-clown in front of him proved it.

Envy morphed his arm into a mirror and held it up for Wrath, who shrieked as he saw his new face. The palm tree changed back and expreimentally put a hand on Wrath's shoulder. He then tried morphing again.

Nothing happened to Envy, but the child in front of him now had the bushy tail and buck teeth of a squirrel. Envy laughed and changed Wrath back before climbing out of the tree. He had some experiments to conduct with this new power.

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Envy's first mission was to get a test subject. Then, to figure out his new power...He would morph them to completely mess with their heads.

"Sounds like a plan." He mumbled as he approached his destination: Central's military headquarters. He was hoping to find someone fun to trick. An unsuspecting soldier, the colonel, or maybe even one of the Elrics. He didn't find any of these people at first. But what he did find was...

"THAT'S BEEN IN THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY LINE FOR GENERATIONS!" A deep voice yelled. Envy turned around to see Armstrong flexing on the sidewalk in front of the building, scaring the people trying to walk.

"The sparkly man. Perfect." The homunculus hopped down from the tree and stood in front of Armstrong.

"You realize noone listens to you?" Envy asked, slightly frightened at the way the major was flexing. 'I didn't know people could bend that way.' He thought, shuddering slightly.

"Everyone listens to me, for I tell wonderous stories. AND STORYTELLING HAS BEEN IN THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS!" The major exclaimed, sparkling and flexing again.

"Um... your pink sparkly is showing." Envy said, laughing. "You really want people to listen to you? Then you'll need to work your way up into a position of power. Something like..." He put a hand on the insane major's shoulder, smirking as the tiny blonde curl darkened and spread across his head. "Colonel!"

Armstrong gasped as he realized he was now... Roy Mustang! "Why, this is impossible! This defies the laws of alchemy, the very laws of nature! THIS HAS BEEN IN THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY FOR-" But before the pink sparkly man could finish, Envy whistled. A large pack of Mustang fangirls came running down the street, chasing the morphed major down the street and away from HQ. Envy sent him off with a military salute, then left to find more 'test subjects.'

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So there you have it. A funnier fic than the other one I'm working on. Speaking of which, don't worry guys, I _am_ writing that. I just needed to see Saturday's episode to write most of it, and I've been sick. This does, surprisingly, make writing a teeny, tiny bit **harder** for me. Bear with me, kay?

Until next time...

Stay in school! Don't do drugs!

And for Pete's sake, click the review button!


	2. Chapter 2

Another Neko Story

**When Envy learns he can not only shift his shape, but other people's shapes as well, what chaos will he cause?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.**

Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. Sorry that I was gone so long, but I'm baaack! I also found chapters I had written for the rest of this and the partial next chapter in Just Like Him. I'm not sure if I'm gonna finish the other fic right now, but this one I'm going to upload. So if anyone's reading this, you get the last two thirds without having to wait.

Enjoy!**  
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Ch. 2 - Second Experiment

Second Experiment

"If I can change others into people, then the shapeshifting works like normal. And if the shifting works like normal, then I can change people into animals, or partial animals, too." Envy recalled Wrath with his squirrelly face and giggled maniacally.

To get his next test subject, Envy would have to enter HQ. He shifted into a military uniform and entered the building. He grabbed a random secretary and shoving her against the wall. "Where's the Colonel's office?" He asked in what resembled a growl.

"That... way!" She choked, then yelled, "Please-don't-hurt-me-I-have-a-husband-and-kids!" her words running together as she spoke.

Envy released her. "Thaaank you!" He smiled at her and ran off to Mustang's office. (He has way too many mood swings.)

He kicked open the door to the office and turned Roy's (The real Mustang, not the Armstrong-Mustang that got chased down the street.) chair around. "I was told to come here for orders, sir!" He said, saluting the alchemist.

"And, what, may I ask, is your name, private?" The Flame asked.

"Erm... Sam... Sm-.. Smorfinheimerdoodle!" He cried, putting together random syllables.

"Well, Samantha, maybe a pretty soldier girl like you can come see me when your shift is over..." Mustang began. (Mustang called Envy-chan a girl. Uh-oh... X.x;)

Envy glared at him. "Not a girl, buddy! Not a soldier, either." He put a hand on Mustang's shoulder. "And now neither are you."

"What are you talking abo-ruff?" The new Mustang sat on the desk, his tail wagging as he barked. Envy shifted a paper on the desk into a collar that said 'Spot' on the tag and put it around the puppy's neck. "There you go, boy." Envy said.

Envy then morphed to become Roy. "Luetenant Hawkeye?" He called. Riza came in a few seconds later, annoyed that Roy chose to bother her during her favorite time of day: target practice. "What?" She asked, looking for an excuse to shoot the homunculus with her pretty silver pistol.

"For you." Envy-Roy said, holding out the Roy-puppy. Riza smiled and took the puppy. "Thank you, Roy!" She poked the pup in the stomach, who gave her and Envy alternating evil glares. "Who's a good boy? You're a good boy, yesss yooou arreee!" She cooed puppy-talk at Roy as she walked back down the hall.

Envy changed back into his palm-tree self and went to go search for his last experiment.

It was quick, I know. But this is a quick little fanfic. Read it, enjoy it, review it.

I'm off to upload the third and final chappy.


	3. Chapter 3

Another Neko Story

**When Envy learns he can not only shift his shape, but other people's shapes as well, what chaos will he cause?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA.**

I'm going to make this short. I told you guys that I'm back in the last one, and what was going on with my fics. This is the last chapter. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll wonder why you're wasting your time with Ducky's fics.

Ch. 3 - Third Experiment  


He wandered the halls of the millitary HQ, searching for the last person he needed to morph. He checked all the rooms. Frowning, he tried to figure out where to search next. Envy was starting to get afraid that they weren't here, but instead they were traveling on some mission for the stone.

Just when he was about to give up hope, go home, and see which homunculi were there to annoy, he saw them.

"But nii-sama, I wanted to keep the kitty!" What seemed to be an oversized tin can whined, looming over someone much shorter in stature. Who could this short one be? A midget? A child? A chimera created from a person and something very small, like a mouse or a grasshopper?

The unnaturally small creature spoke. "But we don't have the time to take care of it, or the money to feed it." It wasn't any of those things. It was an Elric! Edward Elric, to be exact!

"Chibi-channn!" Envy cried, happily running over and hugging the person he'd been looking for.

"Who're you calling Chibi?" He grumbled. "And why aren't you trying to kill me?"

Envy backed up and smiled. "Because I heard of your dilemma and I've got a proposition for ya. You want a cat, right?"

Ed looked at the homunculus warily before slowly nodding. "He does." He said, pointing behind him at Al.

"Right. And I've got a nifty new power, so bam! problem solved!" Envy laughed as Ed took a step back.

"New power? What are you going to do?"

"Just this." Envy took two steps toward the pint-sized alchemist and shape-shifted the unsuspecting chibi.

"Mew?" Edward asked. He wasn't a cat completely, but he had the ears, the claws, and the tail of a cat. His eyes were also more slanted and cat-like. Finally, he had little kitty fangs and a voicebox which, Edward would soon find out, purred and meowed and hissed like a cat.

"KITTY!" Al screeched, grabbing the Edward-cat and dragging him out the door of HQ. Envy laughed histerically and fell over, the secretaries getting up to see what was wrong.

"Well, my work here is done. Hm... wonder what'll happen when Al tries to give him a saucer of milk." He snorted at the thought, walked out the doors, and turned to go home.

In the distance, he could still hear Al screaming "KITTY!" And the meowing and hissing protests of Ed.

END  


And there you have it. Another Neko Story. And hopefully you understand the neko part. I originally just came up with this part, and decided to save it for last and add some more.

Well, I hope you liked it. Review it for me, kay? And thanks for reading.

Ducky


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